We tracked down a gentleman late last Thursday evening, inquiring as to whether or not we could interview his body parts concerning the effects of the 99-cent double thing he had just consumed. These are their stories.

Brain:

Endorphins: GO! Man, this is good, let’s go back and get more. Being awake at 2 am hurts. Hey did some cells just die?

Mouth:

What uh, what’s comin’ in me right now? Ya know this isn’t half bad. Little chewy. What was that a cat hair? Ewwww.

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Throat:

I say, this is very mushy to say the least.*

Stomach:

No, no WHAT HAVE YA DONE!

Ass:

It’s been a good run, life.

*Due to a short supply of throats, our talent acquisition could only retain an English one for this article.