Beg Those Grades Up

So you missed class a few times cause the night before was too much fun. Then you might have also lost track of time with the lady friend and forgotten to do those assignments on time, or very well. Now it is the end of the semester, and you realize you’re in more trouble than you could imagine. The panic begins to set in as you realize your old man’s gonna evict you for all these shenanigans, until you see that recent email you just got from the professor about room for extra credit or the deadline to get late assignments in. This is where the light should ding on above your head to bump up half a letter grade. If you are not familiar with the concept of begging, John Belushi showcases it exceptionally well here. The act has pulled people out of failing classes or just overall improved their grades slightly for centuries, and you can stoop low enough to do it too. A good friend of mine routinely does this at the end of every semester, and I swear this guy has turned more B+’s into A’s than anyone. Personally, I have always had around a 50-60% success rate at what we call a “Sympathy Email,” but I know plenty who have this art perfected down to a T. I don’t blame professors for not budging on grades, but any who do deserve to be canonized when they die. All you really need to do is make sure that the excuse you slap together is something real regarding a circumstance that you could not control inhibiting your completion of x assignment or y hours of studying for z test. That and an excessive amount of detail should be used. We’re talking 2 to 3 paragraphs at 6 sentences a piece. The friend who always pulled off a grade bump happened to also work about 20 to 25 hours a week at a part-time gig to pay the loans faster, so he generally crafted an eloquent email outlining how he got slammed with this project and that project all at once but also had to go to work because he had xxx,xxx in loans to get paid and not drown in debt.  Giving up how much you owe in debt is key here if you go that route, so try and get past the uncomfortable part of disclosing it. Try and remember too that professors get TONS of emails every day, so if you do not get a response and feel like they are trying to send a message by that, they uh, yea they aren’t. You will not even see this professor again except occasionally in passing, and even then chances are they will not remember you well enough to recollect the email if it does not work to your advantage. Out of all my friends, the Sympathy Email has worked a lot, and will for you too.